Winning Over Guilt!

I thank God for Jesus Christ our Lord! The word of God says we win in life because of our faith and obedience to God’s word. God has given us a built-in mechanism to help us walk in obedience to his ethical, moral and spiritual will. That mechanism is call a conscience. Conscience is the faculty, power or principle within us that God has given us to know right and wrong. Through our conscience we decide on the lawfulness or unlawfulness of our own actions and affections. Our conscience will either accuse or excuse our actions and affections! When our built-in rightness indicator (our conscience) accuses us we experience guilt! To win in life, we must have confidence in God; we must be free of guilt and its negative consequences!

Please understand that a good(moral) conscience is a good and God thing! Even guilt is a good thing if we acknowledge its cause and make the righteous changes in our hearts, minds(attitudes) and actions to alleviate it. Guilt is an emotion that is intended to drive us to recognition, repentance and restitution of wrong actions and thoughts. If we excuse, ignore or don’t know how to deal with our guilt, we lose in life! Of course, from a doctrinal and theological perspective God has provided us with victory over sin and guilt through His Son Jesus Christ! We even sing about the blood of Jesus that cleanses us of all un-righteousness(sin and guilt). But to truly win over guilt, we must know, recognize and apply these biblical truths to our everyday lives! Now, let’s look at some manifestations of guilt if not properly dealt with.

Why are they so angry with me? They did me wrong!!!  This is a question I have asked myself and a statement I have made many times over the years, especially as a pastor trying to help and be a blessing to people. I have learned that anger can sometimes be a manifestation of guilt! If you don’t deal with your guilt properly, it can result in you becoming a very angry person. Remember, anger is  defensive in nature. Guilt-ridden people constantly feel accused and condemned. They feel as though they must always defend themselves against a perceived attack! Surely, they missed it; but they have received forgiveness from the person or persons wronged. You might ask, if the person or persons they have wronged have forgiven them, why are they still so angry and defensive? Because they have not accepted that forgiveness, nor have they truly taken responsibility for their sin!  Sometimes in my efforts to repair a relationship with small or large gestures of love, kindness and reaching out to that person, it seems to only make them more angry and the situation worse. Why? Because they are still wrestling with their own guilt!

Let me be a little bit transparent here concerning my own past. There have been times  when I was wrong in my attitudes or actions where my wife is concerned, yet I became angry and bitter towards her! Maybe she was not squeaky clean in the matter, but she had forgiven me and moved on. The truth of the matter was I had not truly accepted her forgiveness and had not taken full responsibility for my part in the situation because of my pride! Because of my own guilt and pride I wanted her to confess that she was wrong! In other words , I had not accepted her forgiveness because of my own guilt and therefore was still caught up in the blame game. Yes, blaming others  is often a personal response to our own guilt!  It is easy to find relief from the guilt we feel by blaming others. It is sometimes hard to admit our own sins and faults, but easy to  put the blame on others or the circumstances. By blaming others or the circumstances we draw attention to them.We deflect it from our own faults and failures and responsibility for what happened!

If we refuse to deal with guilt we can develop a guilt-complex. Every comment becomes a criticism  and is met with some type of retaliatory action or maneuver when a person becomes guilt-ridden. A person with a guilt-complex over-plays every harm they do or exaggerates every offense done to them. They constantly re-play the “offense-episode” over and over in their mind until it grows and grows in intensity along with their anger. As we allow ourselves to stew in our guilt,  it tends to corrupt our relationships with people who have nothing to do with our “offense-episode!”

What must we do to win over guilt, sorrow and regret?  We must obey God’s instructions!  First, we must confess our faults and sins. By confessing our faults and sins we acknowledge ownership of them which enables us to receive forgiveness and empowers us to change. Secondly, we must repent! Repentance literally means to have a “change of  mind.” Your thoughts and attitudes change, especially towards those involved in the “offense-episode!”  The word of God says godly sorrow “works” repentance. Next, you initiate restitution. This is where your change in attitude produces action that brings restoration to the situation. This is not where you do something to prove you are spiritual or the “bigger” person. No, this is about you taking action to correct a wrong you committed! 

 Lastly, you must accept forgiveness! This is where people generally say you must forgive yourself. But the truth of the matters is that we can’t forgive ourselves! We can only accept the forgiveness that God and others give to us. Forgiveness is not just an emotion or spiritual concept, It is a spiritual and natural law! If you break the law and receive a speeding ticket, you just can’t say I forgive myself and tear up the ticket without consequence. No, you owe a legal debt and only the one authorized to pass judgement on you for that transgression can forgive you of that violation without penalty. Like-wise, when you sin by violating God’s laws you just can’t say I forgive myself without consequence unless you follow God’s rules of confession, repentance and restitution. On the other side of forgiveness and guilt is freedom from condemnation and an attitude of humility, graciousness, thanksgiving and joy! When you follow divine directions in these matters, expect to hear the heart  and will of God as Jesus spoke to the woman caught in adultery-‘”go and sin no more!”